Too many thoughts swirling
Round and round I go
Into the abyss that is a broken heart
.
Why
Why
Why
.
Why did he retreat?
Why couldn’t he be there?
Why does he now stay gone?
.
Closure is needed
Everything in me
Is questioning everything around me
.
I can’t look away from him
Because he’s everywhere I look
His language, his work, his effect on me
Right now I can see nothing else
.
How could it be this beautiful
But this brief?
How can I be so devastated to lose
That which I never even really had?
.
Was the promise really that great?
Was the perfection felt
Merely an illusion?
.
It seems as if easy come easy go for him
For me, I feel as if I will die from this pain
Pathetic, I know
.
Jumbled into the heartache
Is my fear of being alone
My need for a safe place
.
I know I must evolve
I say to myself, “THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH”
.
But the road in front of me
Is currently covered in fog
And bottomless pits
.
One after the other
Black and filled with demons
Which will surely be the end of me
Won’t they?
.
What did I do wrong?
What did he do wrong?
Is there any wrong or right?
We’re all trying our goddamn best
.
I wish I could have been free to be myself
I wish I could have screamed and cried
And that everything would have been ok
.
Self
Others
Where do I stand?
.
Self-centered
Codependent
Unworthy
.
Giving
Loving
Worthy
.
Mind still swirling
Stomach in my throat
When will I see clearly?
.
.
.
If anyone reading has tips for a broken heart please let me know
I need all the help I can get right now
Wild Lilly 